Animal

Slipped into a part of me I can’t believe is real

Cannot separate what I know and feel

Conjuring memories that pass right through my head

I wish it did not seem so dark in here

 

Lining up they take their place to mark my every move

Spread hopeless feelings, ensuring that I lose

I twist, I fail, I hopelessly entertain

This contradiction my source of pain

 

Why can I?

Why can I see this?

 

Falling apart ‘cause my balance is upset

Animal, I can’t control me yet

Restless heart wants to rip right through my skin

Relentless are the dreams of far away

 

The minutes, the days, they blend into the same

My endless moves define an endless game

Alone I stand to weather this

Hear voices above and below

Frustration feeds on emptiness

I know too much to grow

 

And this too will end, like fleeting hours of day

I wish could contain myself ‘till then

But memories creep and fade and start all over again

Why does this all seem so scripted?

 

Just when I thought it ended it started over again

 

 

Spider

From the start, hid my intentions

By choosing all of my words carefully, to no avail

You still look past, beyond, and through

My mind chasing an imaginary “you”

 

Closing off and protecting yourself

A simple plan for living life when others don’t reply

Deflecting all your light, your love, and all that you dream of back into the ground

 

To look behind your eyes is all I wanted

To see what you see…

All the words inside my mind remain unspoken

There’s no release

 

Complicated are the strands of thought

An intertwining web that binds but isolates us both

Obscuring black from white leaves only grey conversations

Only static sound

 

Perfect time eludes the perfect place

Can’t seem to synchronize our logic with our emotions

We still look past, beyond, and through

We wait for each other but no one ever moves

 

To look behind your eyes is all I wanted

To see what you see…

All the words inside my mind remain unspoken

There’s no release

Show me what you’re feeling

Reach across, Reach beyond your safety

Skies are racing and all our empty days are receding

I’m standing in the open

I’ve come as far, as far as I can go

And I need you to open to me freely

Finally free now

 

 

Full Circle

Don’t cry for me I had it coming

I’ve been living as I wanted

You saw the way I bent every rule they gave to me

 

I lost my way and didn’t know it

Things I believe have become distorted

It’s been a while since I could see myself with clarity

 

Take life by the reigns; learn for yourself

Freedom requires responsibility

 

Don’t lie for me it isn’t worth it

I fear I’m fading, I fear forgetting

All of the wisdom and knowledge that they gave to me

 

My rebellious dreams were overrated

I tried to live them and found them wanting

I see the way I worshipped and embraced naiveté

 

Take life by the reigns; learn for yourself

Freedom requires responsibility

 

 

Seeking home

Seeking…….

 

Come full circle

Back to this familiar territory now

Doubts all crumble

Follow truth I thought was gone

 

Maybe tomorrow will be like yesterday

Or maybe that life has gone away

Maybe tomorrow will be like yesterday

 

Viewing the world with a callous apathy

Feel the power of withholding mercy

Touch the edge learn to justify

The failure of my ways I realize

 

Seeking Home

Seeking……

 

Come full circle

Back to this familiar territory now

Doubts have crumbled

Follow truth I thought was gone

 

Come full circle

Back to this familiar territory now

Doubts all crumble

Follow truth I thought was gone

 

Down

Looking down

I see the place a came back from to find a better way

On my own

I set out to find the answers all ready known

 

 

Somber

All I am

All I can be

Under skies of grey, look at me

Desperately

 

And will you wait ‘till I find my way?

It’s the only way

 

Please don’t speak

Don’t cry out loud

Under skies of grey, walk with me

Silently

 

And if I fall; lead you nowhere at all

Did I answer your call?

 

Hear me screaming

Why can’t you hear me?

Feel me breathing

Exhaling fear from every part of my being

 

When you’re near

You’re like rain to me

Under skies of grey, look at me

I’m trembling

 

And as I try to brave this divide

Will you be by my side?

Hear me screaming

Why can’t you hear me?

Feel me breathing

Exhaling fear from every part of my being

 

Waking sleep

Hours not mine to keep

Under skies of grey, wait for me

Wait for me

 

 

Crucible

Somewhere along the way

I sure we’ve met before.

I am driven by a need

For you to breathe me in.

 

One thing that I know

Is you will learn my name

And by the time I’ve gone

You will know why I came

 

My purpose brings me here

So you all can see

That for you I am strong

And with you I belong

 

Now that we’re all here

Let me speak my piece

For you I have longed

And for you I will bleed

 

And as I stand with you

I want to know

Let me know

 

Look around, drink in

Let our time begin

Breathe the sound, deep in

Come back to me again

Now you know why I am alive

 

 

Bittersweet

It began a long, long time ago

This song has been sung I’ve heard it all

I was there my friend, you spoke too soon

And I know that you lied to me straight and cold

 

My head split wide open

All these years weren’t you my brother

I tried to understand your betrayal

As my image of you died

 

What did you expect me to say?

Should I have helped you dig my grave?

As around my throat you fingers moved

Fool that I am I guess I never knew

 

That your center had drifted so far

No more mask to disguise who you are

Disregarding loyalty you’ve cut me deeply

No one left to scatter your remains

 

Wounded, Bleeding out

You told me that I should always stand my ground

You spoke the truth friend

This is why I can’t just let you walk away

Things which I lost will be found

 

The things I love you took from me

Convinced of your divinity

The end of this is bittersweet

Stripped of your divinity

 

 

July 4

Wash me clean cold rain

Help me bear my pain

Burn for me cold flame

Light for me my way

 

Stumbling through the darkness I have found my home

Suffering has strangely become comfortable

I cannot follow you so here I’ll stay

Focusing all my thoughts on endless yesterdays

 

It is hard to say your name

Burdened by my shame

My debt to you I can never repay

But you still loved me anyway

 

Suddenly no secrets I can’t hide my flaws

But something tells me you saw them all along

I cannot follow you so here I’ll stay

Focusing all my thoughts on endless yesterdays

 

Winter winds will blow, tomorrow won’t relent

Summer grasses grow but part of me laments

 

 

Echoes

Fleeing your life again

To reach familiar distances

So you can find your favorite pain

Echoes of atrophy repeating

 

Seeking after your past temptations

Avoiding the face of reason

 

Slipping fast and falling far

Can’t complete the lines you’ve started

Always searching for an end

Your private world remaining hidden

 

Where only the shadows understand

Darkened by the void in your hands

 

As you fall into sleep

Do you feel differently?

Sliding back silently

Breaking with all your grief

 

Cold outlines in the grey

Voices they call you away

Now as you come back awake

Feeling the first breath you take

 

Choices are rarely easy

Do you see differently?

 

Fleeing your life again

To reach familiar distances

So you can find your favorite pain

Echoes of atrophy repeating

 

Seeking after your past temptations

Avoiding the face of reason

 

Echoes

I can’t reach you

As you drift away

Cold and silent

As you drift away…….