Animal
Slipped into a part of me I can’t believe is real
Cannot separate what I know and feel
Conjuring memories that pass right through my head
I wish it did not seem so dark in here
Lining up they take their place to mark my every move
Spread hopeless feelings, ensuring that I lose
I twist, I fail, I hopelessly entertain
This contradiction my source of pain
Why can I?
Why can I see this?
Falling apart ‘cause my balance is upset
Animal, I can’t control me yet
Restless heart wants to rip right through my skin
Relentless are the dreams of far away
The minutes, the days, they blend into the same
My endless moves define an endless game
Alone I stand to weather this
Hear voices above and below
Frustration feeds on emptiness
I know too much to grow
And this too will end, like fleeting hours of day
I wish could contain myself ‘till then
But memories creep and fade and start all over again
Why does this all seem so scripted?
Just when I thought it ended it started over again
Spider
From the start, hid my intentions
By choosing all of my words carefully, to no avail
You still look past, beyond, and through
My mind chasing an imaginary “you”
Closing off and protecting yourself
A simple plan for living life when others don’t reply
Deflecting all your light, your love, and all that you dream of back into the ground
To look behind your eyes is all I wanted
To see what you see…
All the words inside my mind remain unspoken
There’s no release
Complicated are the strands of thought
An intertwining web that binds but isolates us both
Obscuring black from white leaves only grey conversations
Only static sound
Perfect time eludes the perfect place
Can’t seem to synchronize our logic with our emotions
We still look past, beyond, and through
We wait for each other but no one ever moves
To look behind your eyes is all I wanted
To see what you see…
All the words inside my mind remain unspoken
There’s no release
Show me what you’re feeling
Reach across, Reach beyond your safety
Skies are racing and all our empty days are receding
I’m standing in the open
I’ve come as far, as far as I can go
And I need you to open to me freely
Finally free now
Full Circle
Don’t cry for me I had it coming
I’ve been living as I wanted
You saw the way I bent every rule they gave to me
I lost my way and didn’t know it
Things I believe have become distorted
It’s been a while since I could see myself with clarity
Take life by the reigns; learn for yourself
Freedom requires responsibility
Don’t lie for me it isn’t worth it
I fear I’m fading, I fear forgetting
All of the wisdom and knowledge that they gave to me
My rebellious dreams were overrated
I tried to live them and found them wanting
I see the way I worshipped and embraced naiveté
Take life by the reigns; learn for yourself
Freedom requires responsibility
Seeking home
Seeking…….
Come full circle
Back to this familiar territory now
Doubts all crumble
Follow truth I thought was gone
Maybe tomorrow will be like yesterday
Or maybe that life has gone away
Maybe tomorrow will be like yesterday
Viewing the world with a callous apathy
Feel the power of withholding mercy
Touch the edge learn to justify
The failure of my ways I realize
Seeking Home
Seeking……
Come full circle
Back to this familiar territory now
Doubts have crumbled
Follow truth I thought was gone
Come full circle
Back to this familiar territory now
Doubts all crumble
Follow truth I thought was gone
Down
Looking down
I see the place a came back from to find a better way
On my own
I set out to find the answers all ready known
Somber
All I am
All I can be
Under skies of grey, look at me
Desperately
And will you wait ‘till I find my way?
It’s the only way
Please don’t speak
Don’t cry out loud
Under skies of grey, walk with me
Silently
And if I fall; lead you nowhere at all
Did I answer your call?
Hear me screaming
Why can’t you hear me?
Feel me breathing
Exhaling fear from every part of my being
When you’re near
You’re like rain to me
Under skies of grey, look at me
I’m trembling
And as I try to brave this divide
Will you be by my side?
Hear me screaming
Why can’t you hear me?
Feel me breathing
Exhaling fear from every part of my being
Waking sleep
Hours not mine to keep
Under skies of grey, wait for me
Wait for me
Crucible
Somewhere along the way
I sure we’ve met before.
I am driven by a need
For you to breathe me in.
One thing that I know
Is you will learn my name
And by the time I’ve gone
You will know why I came
My purpose brings me here
So you all can see
That for you I am strong
And with you I belong
Now that we’re all here
Let me speak my piece
For you I have longed
And for you I will bleed
And as I stand with you
I want to know
Let me know
Look around, drink in
Let our time begin
Breathe the sound, deep in
Come back to me again
Now you know why I am alive
Bittersweet
It began a long, long time ago
This song has been sung I’ve heard it all
I was there my friend, you spoke too soon
And I know that you lied to me straight and cold
My head split wide open
All these years weren’t you my brother
I tried to understand your betrayal
As my image of you died
What did you expect me to say?
Should I have helped you dig my grave?
As around my throat you fingers moved
Fool that I am I guess I never knew
That your center had drifted so far
No more mask to disguise who you are
Disregarding loyalty you’ve cut me deeply
No one left to scatter your remains
Wounded, Bleeding out
You told me that I should always stand my ground
You spoke the truth friend
This is why I can’t just let you walk away
Things which I lost will be found
The things I love you took from me
Convinced of your divinity
The end of this is bittersweet
Stripped of your divinity
July 4
Wash me clean cold rain
Help me bear my pain
Burn for me cold flame
Light for me my way
Stumbling through the darkness I have found my home
Suffering has strangely become comfortable
I cannot follow you so here I’ll stay
Focusing all my thoughts on endless yesterdays
It is hard to say your name
Burdened by my shame
My debt to you I can never repay
But you still loved me anyway
Suddenly no secrets I can’t hide my flaws
But something tells me you saw them all along
I cannot follow you so here I’ll stay
Focusing all my thoughts on endless yesterdays
Winter winds will blow, tomorrow won’t relent
Summer grasses grow but part of me laments
Echoes
Fleeing your life again
To reach familiar distances
So you can find your favorite pain
Echoes of atrophy repeating
Seeking after your past temptations
Avoiding the face of reason
Slipping fast and falling far
Can’t complete the lines you’ve started
Always searching for an end
Your private world remaining hidden
Where only the shadows understand
Darkened by the void in your hands
As you fall into sleep
Do you feel differently?
Sliding back silently
Breaking with all your grief
Cold outlines in the grey
Voices they call you away
Now as you come back awake
Feeling the first breath you take
Choices are rarely easy
Do you see differently?
Fleeing your life again
To reach familiar distances
So you can find your favorite pain
Echoes of atrophy repeating
Seeking after your past temptations
Avoiding the face of reason
Echoes
I can’t reach you
As you drift away
Cold and silent
As you drift away…….
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